I got this from Adam Lane Smith in some videos A and B

I want to talk to you about how men form bonds because it’s typically very different from how women form bonds but in our society we’re taught that men should bond the same way it’s not true to get there today i’m going to have to talk to you about a couple of different hormones in your body number one you might be familiar with it’s called oxytocin now oxytocin is what bonds you to other people when you feel comfortable sometimes it’s called well-being immobile without fear while being at rest oxytocin is what makes you bond to other people in good situations when you’re happy when you’re hugging when you’re holding hands when you’re snuggling under a blanket when you’re enjoying a cup of tea when you’re on a quiet walk together oxytocin is what bonds you to make you feel close to other people

the other hormone that we need to talk about is called vasopressin it bonds people during times of stress it bonds you when you are solving problems together when you are overcoming challenges together and when you endure trials together vasopressin bonds i don’t want to say they’re stronger but they’re a little bit more primal it turns out that vasopressin bonds and their receptors have been present in not just humans but in our genetic ancestors actually before the time when mammals started to lactate oxytocin is built a lot more around lactation or at least it entered our our species during that time our or even our genetic ancestors during that time oxytocin moves a lot of milk has a lot to do with female reproductive systems and females feeding systems um vasopressin is older much older it’s much more primal what does vasopressin bonding look like so when men go to war and start fighting and killing and surviving together they experience vasopressin bonding this is why movies like band of brothers saving private ryan even if they hate each other even if they despise each other at the start they start forming lifelong bonds that they don’t want to be apart from each other ever again and they will connect all the way up until all of them are 90 years old as you see with some world war ii veterans this is why it’s vasopressin bonding it is solving problems together and science shows that vasopressin exists in men in much higher levels than it does in women bonds us to other people it’s a choice to introduce that stress sometimes but vasopressin makes you bond to other people as you solve problems together

I think I love helping other people with their projects because of this, I would think doing something together is more rewarding to me than talking…

Or I may be just looking for validation by being useful to others…